Number 1, I am now out of autographed copies of H8. Never again will I personally be selling a copy of this. Unless those Canadian high school kids who said they wanted one don't say anything soon, then one will be available. More on this later.
Number 2, and this came right from my spam box: Madonna is a Muslim now. As if Madonna has not given America enough reasons to be creeped out by her religion hopping, Baby Jane makeuping ways, she decides to become part of the Saracen horde that is trying to steal our freedom? You ain't takin' my freedom Madonna, not while people have guns and Hank Williams albums. You don't like this country, go back to England! Unless of course for once my spam box has steered me in the wrong direction. This is highly unlikely. A couple months ago, it said that Kelly Clarkson had been raped and I know that must have been true, since she was clearly so shaken she could not send a thank-you note for the muffin basket I sent to Simon Cowell's secretary to bring to her to help relieve her suffering. Kelly Clarkson is definitely the kind of person who would send you a thank-you note for a basket of muffins with a "Sorry You Were Raped" card.
But, in the midst of all of this "No more H8", "terrorist Madonna", "Kelly Clarkson traumatized by rape" talk, there is a silver lining thanks to Shatnerquake author Jeff Burk's tireless efforts. The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction is out and it has my story Mr. Plush, Detective in it. You can get it on Amazon if you just look for a second or find more info at www.bizarrocentral.com. I will let you know if those Canadian highschool kids don't take their copy of H8, the last one out of my personal stash, and if they decide not to, it will be available to the general public. Except for Madonna bin Laden and that ungrateful bitch Kelly Clarkson.
Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed by Lance Carbuncle
