Thursday, February 3, 2011

Will Work for Brains

Looking round, one can't deny
That brains are in quite short supply
First portioned unevenly
Then rotted out by MTV
And we shattered several tiny minds
When we left every child behind.

Where does that leave the living dead
When they seek out their daily bread?
The werewolf gives a mighty howl
Which could endear him to Simon Cowell
And vampires now pose no threat
But get the teenage girls all wet
But zombies have no way with words
Because they all lack vocal chords
And it's hard to look sexy and sulky and wan
When your face is mostly gone.

Back in the days of antiquity,
There was no threat of zombie ubiquity
And zombies needn't ever compete
Over whose head they would get to eat.
The shamblers now hit record highs
And whenever anybody dies
They join the ravening unemployed ranks
Chewing on heads that just shoot blanks.

Now what remains of these remains
Hold up their signs "Will Work for Brains"
With zombies in Jane Austen now
Zombie pigs and goats and cows
And thus zombie originality
Gets oft eclipsed by banality.

With hordes of hordes of things around
We keep our gazes to the ground
And we gotta let the genre rot
When zombie Austen's the best it's got
But remember back when zombie fun
Was an illicit thrill second to none?

Want healthy zombie's? Here's a tip
Feed the genre, help John Skipp!

Rose, the zombie puppet musical has 21 days left on Kickstarter! Feed the zombies!

Rose on Kickstarter

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